Happy Father's Day

It is a wise father that knows his own child.




from The Merchant of Venice by William Shakespeare

There's a crack in everything.

That's how the light gets in.

Leonard Cohen

Image courtesy PD Photo

Happy Mother's Day

I thought the world was flat before I had my kids. Now I know it's round.

Annie Liebowitz, legendary photographer and single mother, from Life Through A Lens, PBS, April 2009

Legends

I regret nothing.

Edith Piaf











Listen here to this legendary song about coming to terms with whatever life throws your way.

Thoughts

In [North] American homes when marriages fail, it is usually the husband who disappears. Women become the head of the family, responsible for instilling in sons as well as daughters the meaning of adulthood. Professional athletes, movie stars, convicts, presidents all testify to the importance of single mothers. At last summer's Olympics, the world saw Michael Phelps emerge from the pool after each event to search the crowd for his mother. The news this evening is of failing male oligarchies on Wall Street. The news this evening is of tribal chieftains at war with modernity. The news is of religious leaders who forbid the ordination of women, even as they stumble from one diplomatic gaffe to another. Throughout history, the world has been largely governed by men. When the male order falters and fails -- as it seems now -- we would make a mistake if we assumed the world was collapsing. All over the world, millions of women are valiantly venturing far from custom, little girls are walking across the desert to school.

from the essay Around The World Women Are On The Move by Richard Rodriguez, first aired April 9, 2009, on the PBS show Newshour with Jim Lehrer

Bedouin girl courtesy LOC

The Quote Book

Some herbs, though scentless when entire, yield fragrance when they're bruised.

From Villette, by Charlotte Bronte

Happy Valentine's Day

Love is indeed a many-splendored thing,
but sometimes we all need to tie ourselves to the mast.

from NYT article Anti-Love Drug May Be Ticket to Bliss by John Tierney


Lashed To The Shrouds
courtesy Library of Congress

Thoughts, and more thoughts

You are as good as the best thing you've ever done.

Billy Wilder; American Writer, Director

A Christmas Celebration

I never cease to be amazed at who reaches out - and who doesn't - when you become a single mother.

I suspect we all know the drill in one form or another - family members who blame you for your incompetent choice of husband; new friends who cool towards you when they find you might not be as useful to them as you were when you were part of a couple; neighbors who treat you like divorce is a contagious disease. It all brings back lots of bad memories.

But since it's the time of year for good thoughts, I'd like to pay tribute to a friend who has stood by me in a way that gives me immeasurable faith in the goodness of the human spirit.

Within a few days of learning I was a single mother, my friend Michelle (who I met when I was married) showed up at my doorstep with bags of groceries, boxes of J-Cloths (I suspect she was worried about what she saw growing in my sink), armloads of clothes and cash. She would drop by my work at lunch hour with good things to eat and drag me out for a redemptive walk. When I got pneumonia, she drove across town at night with hot, homemade soup. (I will never forget that!) She helped me move, babysat and ungrudgingly took my stressed-out phone calls. All of this from a married woman with two kids, running a home-based jewelery design business, and just starting her B. Ed. Since I've moved out west, every now and then I open my email to find she has sent me - unasked - gifts of her hard-earned money.

I can't guess what I did to deserve this kindness - I know that she and her siblings suffered when their parents' marriage ended and I suspect the memory of it has played a part in her thoughtfulness to me and others. I only hope I can pass her strength on to other women.

Of course she's not the only person who has helped me - others deserve tribute too - she just happens to be first on my list. Her picture is at the top of this post - she deserves a loving tribute of the highest order. This Christmas I would like to celebrate this very dear woman, my friend, Michelle Hacksel.

Thoughts

If you find a path with no obstacles it probably doesn't lead anywhere.

from Globetrotter Dogma by Bruce Northam; New World Library; California; 2002