A Christmas Celebration

I never cease to be amazed at who reaches out - and who doesn't - when you become a single mother.

I suspect we all know the drill in one form or another - family members who blame you for your incompetent choice of husband; new friends who cool towards you when they find you might not be as useful to them as you were when you were part of a couple; neighbors who treat you like divorce is a contagious disease.

But it's the time of year for good thoughts and I'd like to pay tribute to a friend who has stood by me in a way that gives me immeasurable faith in the goodness of the human spirit.

Within a few days of learning I was a single mother, my friend Michelle (who I met when I was married) showed up at my doorstep with bags of groceries, boxes of J-Cloths (I suspect she was worried about what she saw growing in my sink), armloads of clothes and cash. She would drop by my work at lunch hour with good things to eat and drag me out for a redemptive walk. When I got pneumonia, she drove across town at night with hot, homemade soup. (I will never forget that!) She helped me move, babysat and ungrudgingly took my stressed-out phone calls. All of this from a married woman with two kids, running a home-based jewelery design business, and just starting her B. Ed. Since I've moved out west, every now and then I open my email to find she has sent me - unasked - gifts of her hard-earned money.

I can't guess what I did to deserve this kindness - I know that she and her siblings suffered when their parents' marriage ended and I suspect the memory of it has played a part in her thoughtfulness to me and others. I only hope I can pass her strength on to other women.

Of course she's not the only person who has helped me - others deserve tribute too - she just happens to be first on my list. Her picture is at the top of this post - she deserves a loving tribute of the highest order. This Christmas I would like to celebrate this very dear woman, my friend, Michelle Hacksel.